Tasting notes from an afternoon bacchanal. I mean, cultural event.
Earlier this year I read a book called Burgundy Stars, about the French chef Bernard Loiseau and his campaign to win his third Michelin star. The book got me thinking about wine and cheese, so I had a party, and instructed the attendees to bring some cheese, and a bottle of wine that cost no more than ten bucks. Here is the tasting report:
To all of you who attended the First Annual Inn at Fernwood Wine-o-cheese-athon-arama, thank you very much for your support, your presence, your booze and your cheesy comestibles. For those of you who couldn’t make it, you were missed and we hope to see you again soon. And could one of you please come clean up my kitchen? It’s covered in about 150 wine glasses that each have an eighth of an inch of wine in them, and the thought of dealing with them is making me woozy. No more wine for a while, thanks.
Many corks were popped yesterday, and in the interest of making this event sound like some kind of enlightening cultural activity “as opposed to a daylight piss-up” I have decided to report on the findings of the panel of judges. We discovered some gems, and all of them were $10 or less. The sommelier staff here at The Inn originally considered putting out index cards for people’s comments, but soon realized into what kind of nonsense that would have degenerated. So we went with a simple rating system, scrawled on the labels with a Sharpie:
Check Minus: Not bad, but not very good, really. Suitable for salad dressings, cooking, or going back and re-thinking when all the higher-rated stuff was gone. Maybe there’s a reason this stuff was $7.99.
Check: Pretty nice, actually. Pleasant, drinkable. A modest bargain.
Check Plus: Now you’re talking. Something you would want to recommend to others.
Check Plus Plus: A true find. Or rated late in the day.
So, here are the final results:
The Check Minuses:
2001 Mi Villa Rioja – It’s from Spain. It also says “Cosecha” on the label, which could be the grape, the region, or possibly the Spanish Minister of Agriculture. The label also says “Alc. 13% by volume,” which may be this wine’s sole selling point.
2000 Viña Solorca Cosecha – This one says “Cosecha” on the label, too, so maybe it is the grape after all. Except that the nice lady at the wine store wrote “Tempranillo” on the label with a pen when she saw my confusion. Wait, I just looked up “Cosecha” on epicurious.com. It’s Spanish for “vintage.” So, BFD.
The Check “Only one? Either we were feeling too generous or too critical – very little middle ground, apparently.”:
2001 Viña Borgia Campo de Borgia Grenache Borgia Borgia – This one managed to pull the Spanish contingent away from their extended budget holiday on the Costa del Check-Minus. I don’t remember anything about it, but the label makes it look like a bottle of sunscreen. A good wine to take to a bullfight.
The Check Pluses:
2002 Yellow Tail Shiraz – This popular Australian red has a winey nose, with hints of wine. Winelike notes on the palate complement a winular finish. “See why we didn’t do tasting notes?”
1998 Domaine de Croix de Chevre Morgon – We liked this one, although I seem to remember Bill saying it wasn’t a very good example of a Morgon. Domaine de Croix de Chevre sounds like it should mean “Realm of the Crucified Goat,” but probably doesn’t.
2000 Trapiche Malbec – An Argentinean… Argentinian… Argentine… A wine from Argentina that saw a lot of action. Bill said it wasn’t a good example of a Malbec.
2001 Delas C̫tes du Ventoux РVery tasty. And French. In your face, jingoistic war-mongers!
2002 Tiefenbrunner Pinot Grigio – Our first white wine on the list, and a darn nice one.
2001 Ballantrae Barossa Valley Shiraz – Good, I’m back on familiar ground here. I at least know which words on the label I’m supposed to talk about. This was a really nice Aussie shirAZZ.
The Check Plus Pluses:
2000 Domaine de Beaurenard Côtes du Rhône – There comes a point in the evening when all of the wine has been drunk except the two bottles wrapped in tissue paper that your Dad gave you for Christmas that probably weren’t ten bucks a bottle and that you swore you weren’t going to open. And then you do. How surprised am I, really? Dad, we liked these a lot. I hope I wasn’t supposed to lay these down for my first son’s 21st birthday or anything. I showed them to Bill and asked if I should open them. He said, “If you’re just going to keep them here in the kitchen at room temperature, you might as well drink them now.” He managed to keep the sneer off his face, which I appreciated, and he didn’t vocalize the unspoken, “And I’m sure they’ll go nicely with Cheetos, you peasant.”
Oh dear Lord. There’s some wine left in one of these bottles. I couldn’t possibly. No, please. No more wine. I’ve had… hey, that’s pretty good. And there is a bit of cheese left, if only the stuff that smells like ass. And I think I have some port. Be right back.
2000 Salice Salentino Rosso – Okay, I have no idea what most of the words on this label mean. I know “Rosso” means red. It also says “V.P.Q.R.D.” on the back. My study has not yet led me to an understanding of Italian wine acronyms, so you’re on your own here. This was a fine, full-bodied wine that got a lot of attention.
1999 Wilson Vineyard Polish Hill River Shiraz – Seemingly named by one of those random text generators that spam emailers use, but another nice bottle of plonk from kangaroo country nonetheless. Perhaps we could have a picnic one day on Bethel-Hickory Grove Church Road and drink a bottle of Wilson Vineyard Polish Hill River Shiraz.
2001 Dr. M. Prüm Riesling – German wine labels. Who the hell knows. Luckily, there are only two words, two abbreviations and a number on this one, so I just put ’em all down. Oooh, this was nice. Very full and rich. Bill says it only goes for about ten or twelve bucks a bottle because of something something Spätlese hummina hummina something something Kabinett. But the secret is out and you probably won’t be able to find it because people like him have already bought it all.
And perhaps the star of the show:
2002 Excelsior Cabernet Sauvignon – I asked Bill if he’d tried the South African cab. He said, “If you can give me a South African wine that I like, I’ll be very impressed.” I said, “Here, try this.” He said, “This is really good. What is it?” I said, “It’s the South African cab I mentioned four seconds ago. Are you sure you want to drive home?” He declared it the “best value” of the wines we sampled. But he said it wasn’t a good example of a cabernet sauvignon.
So, there you are, the first jury results from the Inn at Fernwood panel. I should notify the vineyards so that they can place an appropriate symbol of our approval on the bottles. Perhaps a small image of a smiling Pauly Monaco with a bottle in each hand. We’ll call it “The Slacker d’Or.”
Thanks again to all who participated.
Through purple teeth, I wish you all a fond return to PBR for the foreseeable future.
Santé
dbt