Oh, Pony, Pony

5-7-5, neigh.


Several years ago, my friend Memsy and I were trapped in a long, boring meeting. So naturally, we started writing haikus about ponies. Since then, haikus are everywhere. I just saw one in a VW commercial. We started the whole thing.

Chewing the brown oats,
feeling the breeze stir my mane.
Pony life kicks ass!

When I’m in the field
I feel calm and not itchy.
Unlike in the barn.

Oh, pony, pony.
You are the greatest ever.
You rule–I mean it.

I run like the wind.
I stand like a bronze statue.
I’m a cool pony.

My hair is matted.
My blanket begins to smell.
When does the girl come?

I know you feed me,
but I hate wearing flowers.
I’m a boy pony!

Today, a pony.
Noble and handsome and free.
Tomorrow, I’m glue.

I want to run free,
but there’s a pole in my ass.
Goddamn carrousel.