In the common room of my new company is a giant table, probably eight feet long and four feet wide, and it is covered, no, I mean covered with snack food. Items currently on the table include:
a case of ramen noodles
a case of individual breakfast cereals
Snickers bars “size full, not “fun””
M&Ms, of two varieties
cans of applesauce
one “1” 3-pound tin of mixed nuts
one “1” 3-pound tin of cashews “whole, not pieces”
two “2” 2-pound buckets of assorted snack mix
a bowl of fresh fruit
cans of fruit
a jar of licorice
a convenience-store pack of Slim Jims
a case of mixed Frito Lay products
a case of Zone protein bars
a case of Power Bars
a tin of mixed candies that must be at least 10 pounds
This is just what I can remember off the top of my head. It’s amazing. They also provide breakfast for everyone on Fridays, and last week it looked like they hijacked a bakery truck.
If I still ate like a student, I could live during the week just by grazing from this table. The worst part though, is that I have finally, more or less, gotten a handle on my life-long love of junk food, so for the first time probably ever, this table does not appeal to me. “Well, of course it does, but I’m trying to act like it doesn’t.”
Even so, I can’t help but check out the selection whenever I walk by. Apparently someone asked the snack buyer for some healthier offerings, because we now have little cans of lima beans, corn and spinach on the table. I don’t think I will ever get healthy enough for a spinach SnakPak to sound appetizing.