I guess I just don’t have what it takes. Thousands of bloggers, including many linked over there on the left, manage to produce amusing, informative, interesting and worthwhile writing while balancing full-time jobs, parenthood, the demands of quotidian existence and probably volunteering for Doctors Without Borders, for all I know. I get a 9-to-5 job and the best I can do is take a month to come up with something about microwave popcorn. What’s worse is that when I do finally post again, my post is about how lame I am for not posting. How lame is that? The only thing worse would be if I wrote about spam.
I’m still getting about 150 a day, which gives me a chance to see the themes developing. It’s nice to see that it’s not all about penile enhancement anymore. Mortgages are always popular, of course, but yesterday the theme seemed to be, “Euphemisms for ‘Reduce.’ I got emails encouraging me to butcher, chop, knock and scalp my mortgage payment. When I find a broker who can help me eviscerate my payment, we’ll talk. “I’m waiting for them to get confused and send me one that says, “Women Worship Low Payments or “Drill Your Girlfriends Mortgage All Night!”
Today’s theme seems to be “Long Lost Friends” Sebastian wrote to say, “We used to talk” and Mcclain wonders if I “remeber way back when? Granted, I am getting old and my memory is not what it used to be. But I think I would remember if I had ever made friends with Parson Straightaway and Eldridge Landscape.
Well, there you go. Nearly a month of silence, then I give you a lame compendium of spam subject lines. The least I can do is finally release this one, which I’ve been holding in reserve for months:
Boy in front, sheriff around and mirror behind are what made America great!