In the last 10 weeks we’ve had innumerable experiences that seemed astonishing to us, but we realize in retrospect are absolutely common. I mentioned early on I would try to avoid the new dad phenomenon of acting like we’re the first people ever to have a baby. So forgive me if it seems trite to mention that our life is so full of effluent these days that we barely even notice it. Things that would have made me choke back a gag in January can now be handled while holding a sandwich in the other hand.
The name of the above-pictured product therefore fits in nicely with our new, no-big-deal attitude toward bodily functions. Half of our conversations revolve around some aspect of belching, farting, peeing or pooping, so it makes perfect sense that we have a product in our lives called “Butt Paste.”
But there is one thing about the product that, despite its efficacy, will make me reconsider when it’s time to buy a new tube:
It smells good.
No, I mean, it smells really good, like something you would fill a pastry with. The web site says it has a balsam scent, but it smells more like vanilla to me. When I’m standing over my son, having just removed his dirty diaper, ready to slather his pooper, I don’t want to be thinking, “I wonder what this tastes like?”
It also distresses me that this blog will now show up in searches for “butt paste smells good.”