Category: neck deep in the zeitgeist

One day I’d like to open a store that sells nothing but ottomans. I’d call it The Footstool Empire. Then when people come in and say, "How come you didn’t call it The Ottoman Empire?" I’ll say, "Oh, yeah. That would have been a much better name."

“click to enlarge”

Last week sometime I was in the office of my co-workers Jen and Jerry. Jen has a houseplant “or I suppose, officeplant” on her windowsill that could use a little more room. She asked where she could get a plant stand. I offered my three standard responses:

a. Plant Stands ‘R’ Us
b. I’m Not Gonna Pay a Lot for This Plant Stand
c. www.plantstands.com

But it turns out there really is a plantstands.com. I suppose it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. It was the first place we thought to look for a plant stand, so it was probably a smart decision on the part of the owner. But that’s not the reason I’m giving them the award. They’re getting the award because of the link in the menu bar that says, “Make Us Your Homepage.” Now that takes some chutzpah. Forget Yahoo, MSN and The New York Times. Now you can get the latest information on plant stands whenever you open your browser! At last!

And you know what? It’s not even a very good place to buy a plant stand.

Hardee’s marketing efforts lately have focused on their Thickburger menu, which includes such items as the Western Bacon Thickburger and Low Carb Thickburger. However, the campaign is slowing and they need an infusion of creative. Please contribute your suggestions for new Thickburgers. Ideas include:

Swift Boat Thickburger
The War Against Terror Thickburger
Alternative Lifestyles Thickburger
Lance Armstrong’s Triumph Over Cancer Thickburger
Alan Thickeburger