2009 | Page 50 of 51 | David B. Thomas

I’m looking in our cupboard at our bottle of canola oil, which proudly proclaims it is “expeller pressed.” Is that a good thing? It must be a good thing, right? Or they wouldn’t put it on the label.

I have a bottle of salmon oil capsules from Trader Joe’s, which are “molecularly distilled.” Is that a good thing? It must be a good thing, right? Or they wouldn’t put it on the label.

Small batch. Single barrel. All natural. First cold pressed. Unrefined. What do they all mean? Is that a good thing? It must be a good thing, right?

Itmustbeagoodthing.com seems to be available. I think you see where I’m going. Find all these nebulous claims on packages and brochures and commercials, explain what they mean, and whether or not it’s a good thing.

I offer this to you, as I know myself well enough to know I will never do anything with it. “Witness the fact that I own the domain 1001albums.com, the idea behind which also sounded like it was worth a million bucks at the time.”

If you launch itmustbeagoodthing.com and make a million dollars, send me some money someday.

The Jimmy Carter of Infant Two

neck deep in the zeitgeist

Dave29 January, 2009

When I picked The Boy up from baby school one of the teachers told me that two of his classmates, Caroline and Hailey, had been fighting over a toy piano today. Conrad walked over, picked up the piano and handed it to Hailey. His ruling held.

Potential band names found in my kitchen

neck deep in the zeitgeist

Dave22 January, 2009

Bronzeville Rib Rub
Chicago Metallic
The Juniper Berries
Vanilla Gunpowder
O.G. “Original Gelatine”
Tamari

Conrad’s first snow day

neck deep in the zeitgeist

Dave20 January, 2009

We had a couple of inches of snow overnight so we’re home having a snow day. I was anticipating a “Hoohoo!” when Conrad saw the snow for the first time, but his reaction was a little more restrained, although he did seem fascinated. He seems to be following his pattern of observing and evaluating before coming to a conclusion. Maybe after he wakes up from his nap he’ll deliver a verdict on snow.

For those relatives living in northern climes, before you launch into a diatribe about how wimpy we are in the South when it comes to snow, here is my standard answer: Â We don’t have chains, we don’t have snow tires, we have, like, ten plows for the entire state and this only happens every couple of years, so we can afford to shut everything down.

And the socks you rode in on

neck deep in the zeitgeist

Dave11 January, 2009

Ordinarily a good napper, The Boy didn’t seem like he was going for it this morning. After hearing him yawp and moan for 20 minutes or so, Jean went up with another small bottle to restart the going-down process. He had not only thrown his pals Sleepy Duck and Sleepy Sheep out of the crib onto the floor, but had removed and ejected his socks as well.